- Prioritize and Invest - early preparation - the relationship is not premised on having a child; protecting the marriage is to protect your family. Relational priority with a new child is important. Having a child should not put your relationship with your spouse under a lower priority. It seems logical to have both parents shift their priority to the new child but the neglect of our spouse relationship is obvious to our child and could impact their views of parenting and marriage. Spend time with your spouse aside from your child as a priority to keep the marriage healthy.
- Be a student of your spouse - 5 love languages. Figure out your spouse and speak his/her love language.
- Be your spouse's loudest cheerleader - sometimes, the spouse would play the role of the critique and provide unrequested feedback especially negative ones thinking that this would help the spouse. Instead, be the defender and compliment to cheer your partner - build up the esteem of the spouse. "I love my spouse" after a phone call especially when the child is around helped to honour your spouse in his/her absence but is important as a lesson to your child on the importance of a marital relationship.
- Practise showing gratitude: Be grateful and appreciative especially with house tasks mutually agreed upon. Unexpressed gratitude implies not being appreciative. Be regular with gratitude.
- "Harness the AAH factor" - the look of happiness that spreads across the face when the person they love walks into the room—thoughtful remarks of the love and presence of your spouse. AAH Factor reinforces love, honours, and strengthens, it communicates the notion that you will choose your spouse all over again. If not deliberate and mindful, the AAH factor wanes very quickly.
Parenting: Getting IT Right (Session 4)
In this week's Parenting: Getting it right (session 4), we note that:
Your marriage has a great impact on child development.
Your relationship with your spouse matters a lot. How to ensure that our marriage is optimal:
A healthy marriage is not a perfect marriage, it is not a relationship where conflicts, struggles and grief are absent, it is a relationship where mutual respect and mutual submission to each other are identified goals even in the midst of the conflicts, struggles and grief. The selflessness in mutual submission will be the foundation that cast security now for your children but also the vision and foundation for the future marital relationship of your child. Let's understand therefore the significance of our marital relationship and how it provides the optimal safe and secure environment for the wholesome holistic development of our child and the benchmark of his/her future marital and family relationships.